Mark My Word Jan/Feb 2009
Guy Richie must be the happiest man in the universe. After eight years of being ball-and-chained to the vein-popping rocknrollzilla Skelator Madonna, their splitsville means he never has to hear another monotonous word about Kabbalah, Malawi, whether his kid gets to eat birthday cake or not, listen to her bogus British accent, or have to follow the litany of rules for their marriage— such as no TV or newspapers— that were supposedly hung on the walls of the couple’s New York city apartment. I would have lost my freakin’ mind. Actually, if you listen closely, you can probably hear ol’ Guy happily Riverdancing his way across the U.K. Or maybe that banging is the sound of Madge playing with the once-married-himself, A-Rod?
Of course, being ever the optimist, I find there is a lesson we quilters can learn from these celebutard relationships. Sometimes, no matter how hard we struggle or how diligent we are in trying to create the perfect quilt, poo happens (and I don’t mean Winnie ).
Oh yes, dumplings, I hate to waste good fabric (most especially during these freaky-deaky financial times). I also hate to squander away what little free time I have left, but sometimes, just sometimes, you have to drop-kick what’s not working for you and go out and find something new. This applies to a controlling spouse, a wretched boss and/or frenemy, and yes, darlins, this rule can apply to your patchwork.
I once packed and moved an incomplete and tedious Blooming Nine-Patch quilt into three different homes without ever completing it. It was one of those quilts where a former quilting shopkeeper helped me with fabric selection(which I ended up hating)and I just totally lost interest in the whole project.
No matter how hard I tried to save this quilt, my heart just wasn’t in it. I finally had to get rid of it. Like Mr. Richie with rail-thin-muscled Madonna, it just became too painful to be around. I packed it up and gave the whole kit and caboodle to my friend Gloria, who actually liked it and will most likely finish it one day. What didn’t work for Guy seems to work for A-Rod. What didn’t work for me, works for Gloria.
This is the lesson, my dears. Get rid of stuff that isn’t working for you. Hate the quilt you just started? Toss it. Detest the notion you just bought? Trash it. Loathe the fabric you couldn’t live without just last week? Give it to someone who will use it. Follow Guy Richie’s example and toss the trash from your home. It doesn’t mean it’s not good stuff; it’s just not for you, and it must go!
Stop cluttering your house with crap. How can you buy more new, fabulous fabric, notions, patterns, bamboo batting, and tools if your space is already filled to the rafters with junk you’ll never use?
Nobody ever said this was going to be easy. “But I love him,” is the reason sweet women give when they marry inmates doing whatever-tolife for some heinous crime. I know you love your patchwork debris, babe, but love is not enough.
Clear your home, clear your thoughts, and clear your creative palette. Start the New Year off right by getting rid of the stuff you don’t want, need, or use. Start 2009 fresh and clean. Like a Virgin...
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